First off, I want to commend Alien. Alien is genius filmmaking at is best, and I consider it to be the best film ever made. Aliens, meanwhile, is a very solid movie, but not quite up at Alien's level. While it is indeed a great movie, I think it did start the downwards spiral that the Alien name has been brought to. It cheapened the Xenomorphs by making them more like mere insects, and thanks to James Cameron's totally "inside the box" way of thinking, they had to have a queen. The queen was memorable for sure, but it completely ruined what could've become an awesome story arc featuring the Space Jockey from Alien.
Prometheus, also while not as good as Alien, I felt surpassed Aliens by a longshot. I don't care what you whiny nay-sayers say, Prometheus was awesome.
Anyway, onto the crappiness that is everything that followed.
Alien 3
1992
Directed by David Fincher
I can commend Alien 3 for a few unpredictable moments and some cool ideas. But after that there's close to nothing great about Alien 3. Where to start?
Alien 3 in a nutshell starts soon after where Aliens left off. Ripley(Weaver), Newt, Hicks(Biehn), and the android Bishop(Henrikson) are traveling through space while in deep hypersleep. But oh no, an alien somehow boarded their ship. The ship goes out of control and crash lands on Fiorina 161, a planet used as a massive male-only prison complex. Ripley, the only survivor aboard is taken by prison officials to be detained and such. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to everyone, the Alien comes along. Long story short, the Alien infects a dog, imitating its traits, and kills everybody. Big surprise.
While Alien 3 as a standalone film could be considered decent, or least watchable, it is a steaming turd compared to the previous two. The story is alright, but the big flaws come from pacing, characters, and the visual effects. The film, trying to be more like the original Alien, tries to show the creature as little as possible. But in this film, it doesn't work quite as well. The film ends up being quite boring and dull, which is sad considering David Fincher was at the helm. The characters are all rather obnoxious, and british for some reason. The genius of Alien's characters was their utter contempt for one another, but mixed well with good-natured ribbing. Alien's characters actually had a good amount of humor in them, meanwhile this humor is completely devoid in Alien 3.
As for the effects, all I can say is good grief. Alien's effects were spectacular, and still hold up quite well. Aliens, of course still looks great. Alien 3 on the other hand, was a train wreck. Some shots were practical, but extremely limited to what they could show. But other shots were doing using CGI, which as most of you should gather, was quite...primitive. The creature stuck out like a sore thumb, and was completely distracting. Add this to the cheesy explosions of needless blood and gore, and Alien 3 completely misses the bar.
My Rating- 4/10
Alien: Resurrection
1997
Directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Alien 3 at least tried.
Resurrection takes place years after Alien 3, and revolves around a cloned Ripley infused with Alien DNA aboard a scientific vessel. Soon, the vessel is boarded by space pirates or something. Meanwhile, the scientists have been breeding Aliens like crazy. Something goes horribly wrong as always. Soon, Ripley escapes the ship with the lovable mercenaries.
Another disappointing effort by an otherwise talented director, Resurrection throws all seriousness out into vacuum. What ensues is so goofy, stupid, and obnoxious, you'll be ripping your hair out by its bloody roots. The characters are the biggest flaw. Ripley is wooden as hell, the scientists and officers are caricaturish beyond reason, and the mercenaries/pirates are among the most obnoxious in cinema history. The mercs range from obnoxiously gruff(Wincott), to stupidly gorilla-like(Perlman), to just plain cartoonishly dumb(Pinon). Meanwhile, Ripley is just boring and rather arrogant, completely rounding out the horribly unlikeable cast, and android Calle(Ryder) is just useless.
The plot really doesn't make much sense. Why these pirates are just let on board is beyond me. Why Ripley is kept alive after the Alien specimens are extracted, I have no idea. Why Ripley is infused with Alien DNA still confuses me.
The effects, while better than Alien 3, were still rather cheesy, and never used effective light and shadow to obscure anything.
Overall, it was crap.
My Rating- 1.5/10
AVP: Alien vs. Predator
2004
Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
First off, let me say that I'm ashamed to have the same last name as this no-talent hack of a director. AVP took what little was left of the Alien name, and took an even bigger crap on it. AVP is a pointless cannon-fodder flick, that's all it really is.
Basically, AVP's plot is about wealthy corporate man Weyland, finding some kind of heat signal(?) underground in the arctic, and wants to investigate for whatever reason. He assembles and crack team of losers led by your token strong chick. They drill down to find a pyramid filled with Aliens for the sole purpose of game hunting for Predators. Long story short, everyone dies, except the token strong chick(I think I'm beginning to recognize a pattern here).
AVP is an extremely formulaic piece of junk, and I regret watching it more than once, or once for that matter.
My Rating- 1/10
AVP: Requiem
20-Who cares.
Directed by some idiot
A teen soap opera...with aliens.
My Rating- -10/10(yeah, that's a negative ten)
Oh wait, AVP:R Should be off the chart.
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